Duolingo – that app with the green, wide-eyed owl mascot that stalks you with push notifications more persistently than your mother-in-law when you skip family dinner. You’d think: “Cool, I’ll learn a new language, maybe something practical like… Bulgarian!”
Well, think again. Because while people in Bulgaria live with a flat 10% tax rate, buy affordable real estate, and sip their way through hip cafés in Sofia – Duolingo has decided that the true global priority is the language of Game of Thrones: Valyrian.
Valyrian.
A language that exactly zero people on this planet need in real life, except maybe if you want to impress someone at Comic Con or prove how “nerdy” you are on a first date. But Bulgarian? Spoken by over 7 million people, EU member state, official language? Nope. No owl, no heart, no level-up.
I’ve submitted multiple (!) requests. Always politely. Always pointing out: “Dear folks, Bulgaria is a real place. It has beaches, mountains, a long history, and yes, people who speak Bulgarian.” But apparently that’s not enough to earn a spot on Duolingo. Maybe we’d need to launch an HBO spin-off first: “The Rise of Sofia – House of Shopska Salad”. Then it would probably work.
Instead, the world is happily learning how to yell “Qapla’!” in Klingon. Which is, of course, super useful in case you accidentally fall into a wormhole and land on the bridge of the USS Enterprise.
But Bulgarian? Still missing.
So, if you really want to learn Bulgarian – spoiler alert – you’ll have to look elsewhere.
